those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
