My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
