she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
