can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
