I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
