Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
