She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
