Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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