Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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