how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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