We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
