i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
