You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
