Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Actions speak louder than pants.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
