wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
