im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
