Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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