He disabled his match.com account in front of me
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
