Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
