opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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