school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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