Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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