I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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