I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
