I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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