Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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