I'm going to jail i love you
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
sick fucks of a feather flock together
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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