Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
