if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
