Apparently you make a good broom.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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