ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
