38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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