She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
