It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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