I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I need to stop coming to work sober
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
