thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
