After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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