Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
