Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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