your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
