Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
