I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
