So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
