are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
