Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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