you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
