I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
