I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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