it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
