i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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