Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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