i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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