oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
do herpes really smell.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
